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Twas the night before Chrimbo
Pedt vomited Twas the night before Chrimbo onto my velour:
[pinched out of the shed and amended to suit]
Twas the night before Chrimbo and the locals had fled,
Not a poster was stirring, all tucked up in bed.
When up from the darkness there came a loud wail,
As Santa's new kill rule got snagged on a nail.
"Oh bugger!" he cried as he dragged in his sack,
Which he promptly sat down on and said: "Oohmeback!"
He looked at his computer to find it had crashed,
Losing download of news he previously had cached.
The Blue Screen Of Death was plainly in view,
A vision that's well known to all but a few,
He knew that he'd have some reinstalling of Windows,
And so muttered "I had better begin I suppose".
From the stack of CDs he began to rebuild,
Blindly reaching out as he was rather unskilled.
From the edge of the desk there came such a clatter,
That he had a quick peek to see what was the matter.
It wasn't that long before his visage went dour,
All the AOL CDs had fell to the floor.
"Oh ********!" he said as he looked at the debris
"There's enough work there to last me till Febr'y."
"I know Turnpike's been loaded so that is OK,"
"And now is the time for a glass of Tokay."
"TP can download all the news postings for me,"
"While I download the wine to my insides for my tea."
It was taking so long on his dialup connection,
That how much he'd drunk was beyond recollection.
So he finished the bottle and started a second,
Would keep out the chill of the night he reckoned.
Downloading the bytes that make up postings from you,
Reminds him of sheep ~ the joke is the "ewe".
As he sat by the computer there on his tod,
His white bearded head began gently to nod.
So if you discover a chap dressed in red,
Fast asleep by your 'puter do not be in dread.
Don't prod him or poke him or chase him away,
It's only old Santa.. he's had a hard day.
You're the Ginge Santa! YAY!
"It was a regular (Imber) that started
all this. Easiest thing to do is
to forward Kyle's posts to
they withdraw his posting rights."
"All I want is to find the
appropriate ISP abuse
addresses for Bernard
"Having been abused by private email
(I don't regard "thick paddy" as a term
of endearment! )) as well as posting
by Benn I have filed an abuse report
with his ISP."
Patrick Navin, uk.media.dvd