A Caravan forum. Caravan Banter

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Go Back   Home » Caravan Banter forum » Caravan, Motor Homes and Camping Newsgroups » UK Caravanning
Site Map Home Register Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

UK Caravanning (uk.rec.caravanning) A forum for the discussion of caravanning undertaken by residents of the United Kingdom, whether in the UK or abroad. It encourages the interchange of views on the merits of models of caravan, makes of tow car, accessories, caravan sites, caravan clubs, and other related topics. The term caravan is to include trailer vans, motor caravans and trailer tents.

Twas the night before Chrimbo

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old December 27th 03, 03:56 AM posted to demon.local,uk.media.dvd,uk.rec.caravanning
Santa K|/le
external usenet poster
Posts: 51
Default Twas the night before Chrimbo

Pedt vomited Twas the night before Chrimbo onto my velour:

[pinched out of the shed and amended to suit]

Twas the night before Chrimbo and the locals had fled,
Not a poster was stirring, all tucked up in bed.
When up from the darkness there came a loud wail,
As Santa's new kill rule got snagged on a nail.
"Oh bugger!" he cried as he dragged in his sack,
Which he promptly sat down on and said: "Oohmeback!"

He looked at his computer to find it had crashed,
Losing download of news he previously had cached.
The Blue Screen Of Death was plainly in view,
A vision that's well known to all but a few,
He knew that he'd have some reinstalling of Windows,
And so muttered "I had better begin I suppose".

From the stack of CDs he began to rebuild,
Blindly reaching out as he was rather unskilled.
From the edge of the desk there came such a clatter,
That he had a quick peek to see what was the matter.
It wasn't that long before his visage went dour,
All the AOL CDs had fell to the floor.

"Oh ********!" he said as he looked at the debris
"There's enough work there to last me till Febr'y."
"I know Turnpike's been loaded so that is OK,"
"And now is the time for a glass of Tokay."
"TP can download all the news postings for me,"
"While I download the wine to my insides for my tea."

It was taking so long on his dialup connection,
That how much he'd drunk was beyond recollection.
So he finished the bottle and started a second,
Would keep out the chill of the night he reckoned.
Downloading the bytes that make up postings from you,
Reminds him of sheep ~ the joke is the "ewe".

As he sat by the computer there on his tod,
His white bearded head began gently to nod.
So if you discover a chap dressed in red,
Fast asleep by your 'puter do not be in dread.
Don't prod him or poke him or chase him away,
It's only old Santa.. he's had a hard day.

You're the Ginge Santa! YAY!


Phil K.


"It was a regular (Imber) that started
all this. Easiest thing to do is
to forward Kyle's posts to
and hope
they withdraw his posting rights."

"All I want is to find the
appropriate ISP abuse
addresses for Bernard
and Kyle."

"Having been abused by private email
(I don't regard "thick paddy" as a term
of endearment! )) as well as posting
by Benn I have filed an abuse report
with his ISP."

Patrick Navin, uk.media.dvd


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

All times are GMT. The time now is 10:34 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6
Copyright 2004-2020 Caravan Banter.
The comments are property of their posters.