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UK Caravanning (uk.rec.caravanning) A forum for the discussion of caravanning undertaken by residents of the United Kingdom, whether in the UK or abroad. It encourages the interchange of views on the merits of models of caravan, makes of tow car, accessories, caravan sites, caravan clubs, and other related topics. The term caravan is to include trailer vans, motor caravans and trailer tents.

Smile, Someone loves you....

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old June 24th 04, 01:14 PM posted to uk.rec.caravanning,alt.gossip.royalty
The Beggar's Opera
external usenet poster
Posts: 3
Default Smile, Someone loves you....

I took another giant step for mankind into the world of artificial
intelligence today, by sharing my thoughts with a telephone response machine

After struggling with the almost incomprehensible accents of the staff at
the (preseumably) Indian sub-continent based call centre, I finally took out
a car policy with Norwich Union and was then asked to hold for a 'Customer
Satisfaction Survey'

Expecting to be connected to a human being, I was a little taken aback to be
greeted by a voice that, although as sweet and clear as an English maiden
gathering primroses on an April morning, was quite obviously a mechanical

"Were you satisfied with the service provided for you by Norwich Union?",
trilled the Maiden, adding, "Press 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, depending on your level
of satisfaction.

Hmmm.........well, the price was good - and the lad was certainly doing his
best...so, make that a 5.

"Were you satisfied with the length of time it took to get through to
Norwich Union", continued the Maiden, "Press 1,2,3,4, or 5, depending on
your level of satisfaction.........let's give that a 3...

and so on, and so forth.......until the final question, one that seemed so
bizarre that it belongs in a 'Future Doom ' sci-fi scenario.

""Based on your recent experience with Norwich Union", quizzed the Maiden,
"Do you feel that Norwich Union cares about you? - press 1 if you think we
care, press 2 if you think that we do not care"

Well!! - how on earth can one anser that in the few seconds provided?

If I wrap the car around a tree and present Norwich Union with a bill for
20,0000 will they care?.....almost certainly , 'Yes'

But, on the other hand, if I'm terminally ill, sleeping out on the streets,
bankrupt and destitute - will Norwich Union care about me then?...Hmmm,
tough one.

This all might seems a bit facetious - but there really *is* something odd
about being asked by a machine whether a global corporation cares about
you!..... overtones of Big Brother - who's compassion and care towards those
under his wing are legendary...

So, to be on the safe side, I told the Maiden that I was absolutely
convinced that Norwich Union cared deeply about me, and pressed the '1' key
with all strength and conviction of a true believer.

This appeared to please the Maiden, for there were no more questions - just
a sunshine filled, 'Goodbye', and a click on the line as she returned to her
Primroses, leaving me with the warm glow that comes from knowing that I have
at least one friend who really, really cares.

And they're not easy to find, you know.

  #2 (permalink)  
Old June 24th 04, 08:50 PM posted to uk.rec.caravanning,alt.gossip.royalty
Rachel Spencer
external usenet poster
Posts: 1
Default Smile, Someone loves you....

"The Beggar's Opera" wrote in message news:[email protected]

And they're not easy to find, you know.

Would that be friends who "really care" or Norwich Union? LOL!!
  #3 (permalink)  
Old June 24th 04, 10:48 PM posted to uk.rec.caravanning,alt.gossip.royalty
external usenet poster
Posts: 3
Default Smile, Someone loves you....

"Rachel Spencer" wrote in message
"The Beggar's Opera" wrote in message

news:[email protected]

And they're not easy to find, you know.

Would that be friends who "really care" or Norwich Union? LOL!!


When you've got Norwich Union, you need no other friends - which is just as
well, since I and my former soul mate on alt.gossip.royalty are now pelting
each other with the unwashed crockery......


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