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Old November 5th 03, 09:16 AM posted to uk.rec.caravanning
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Default Modified van - advice needed

"Gwyn Edwards" wrote in message
Hi Guys,

I'm not sure if this is the 'done thing' but I've modified my Monza
390 caravan. I pull it with a (modified) Escort Equipe 1.4, which is
a bit of a strain sometimes.

Should be alright, I towed for years with a 1.1 Morris Marina.

Anyway, first of all I lowered her to match the lowered effect on my
Equipe. She looked hot, but the paintwork needed a helping hand. I
got an acquaintance who also does 'urban artwork' to give her a going
over. I managed to get the Blazin Squad logo on the back and some
70's style artwork down either side. You may have seen me driving up
and down the M62 in it.

Nice one, hope your friend used etch paint or it will peal off the

I had the Earth Wind and Fire group painted on mine but the birds tits were
missing because of a window, couldn't get the paint to stay on the glass.

I then had to rip out the sofas and tables, but kept the toilet and
kitchen. I wired the water tube up to a large barrell in which I have
anything from home made punch to Super Albion lager (13% - very nice)
so you can have whatever you want on tap.

Wow thats spooky I ripped mine out and fitted a bar in the center. The
optics mounted to one side but fell down when the weight was too much so I
nut and bolted right through the wall, that stopped it.

My caravan had hot and cold water so I connected the Watneys on the cold
side and cider to the hot side. With a twist of the tap you could have one
or the other or with great care a snake bite becomes possible.

Next, I fitted a 500W ALBA sound system which blows the bow larks off
anything else around, together with a strobe, under van lighting and a
huge BUSH bass tube. It's a shame I had to take out the bedroom to
make way for the subwoofer, as this would have been ideal for
entertaining the ladies.

If you had spent a little more time and effort you could have saved the
bedroom, perhaps been awake in woodwork lessons. You could have built a
subwoofer to hang under the caravan. As you know bass is not directional so
the sound comes up brilliantly through the floor, even through the deep
nylon shag pile carpet.

If you had saved the bed then use the bolt through system to secure the
mirrored ceiling. If you upgraded the wheels to say a 1.6 you could have a
bigger caravan that could have a rotating bed.

Anyway, I'd had the party van going for a few months when tragedy
struck. Basically, everything was going fine when my mate petrolhead
turned up. He does fire-eating and he decided that he'd impress the
local nags with some silky skills. However, he spilled some petrol on
the floor of the van and right in the middle of my favourite tune (We
Just Be Dreamin) the place went up in flames.

Ah, after all that, I nearly did something similar but it was Vodka that
caught light. The carpet melted and the bedspread was nearly destroyed,
quick thinking by one of the party goers saved the day, a soda syphon is a
brilliant invention.

I do hope your wheels weren't too close or you may have damaged that as

I couldn't believe it, all that hard work and now all that's left is a

Please tell me what I can do - is there anyway to rebuild a caravan
from scratch I really need to get it going as this Lithunaian bird I
met on Yahoo! Messenger is coming over in a few weeks and I've told
her all about it.

Mmmmm difficult, I suspect from the damage you describe that a few weeks
won't be enough to rebuild your shag (on the floor) palace. Perhaps you
need to peruse e-bay and see if anyone is selling their dream accommodation.
You could use past experience and my worldly advice to create a new holiday

I hear Lithuanian birds are into group sex so perhaps you do need to put
some thought into layout and design.

Please help me.

I suspect only professional trick cyclist Doctors could do that.

Hamilton Osimo